Book Review: Damned by Chuck Palahniuk

Book Review:  Damned, by Chuck Palahniuk

For those of you that are not familiar with Chuck Palahniuk, he's the guy who wrote Fight Club.  Yes, it was a book long before Edward Norton and Brad Pitt teamed up to tell you the first two rules of Fight Club.  If you still don't know what I'm talking about, read the book.  If you're a man, it will change your life.  If you're a woman, well, don't be a Marla.
Damned is told from the point of view of Madison Spencer, the awkward but intelligent offspring of a mega rich Hollywood couple.  The story begins with Madison finding herself dead and in Hell after a marijuana overdose.  Very little, it seems, is enough to get you thrown into hell.  Jaywalking, or wearing white after Labor Day will do the trick.  For Madison though, Hell isn't merely a destination.  It is a journey all its own.
Accompanied by Hell's version of the Breakfast club, Madison makes her way across the landscape of Hell, around the Sea of Insects, across the Desert of Broken Glass and avoiding the Swamp of Partial Birth Abortions.  As if these things weren't bad enough, The English Patient plays on an endless loop for all eternity to torture the souls of the damned.
Damned is probably Palahniuk's best work since Invisible Monsters.  If you liked the show Dead Like Me, you will most likely enjoy Damned.  It is the story of a girl who has to die in order to learn how to live.  Pick this one up.  It's worth the read!

Rating:   Four and half out of five coffee beans!

Easy Homemade Turkey Pot Pies

Easy Homemade Turkey Pot Pies

Ingredients
1 lb. diced turkey breast (Get it from the  deli, 1/2" thick)
1 bag frozen potatoes o'brien
1 lb. bag frozen peas and carrots
1 10 oz. can cream of chicken
1 10 oz. can cream of "whatever" (mushroom, celery, broccoli etc.)
1 15 oz. can chicken broth
1 can lg. biscuits (at least 6 per can, flaky or buttermilk)
Black and/or red pepper if you want to add a little kick
Salt (optional, and go easy since the soups and broth are full of it)
Nonstick spray
Six inch pie pans (the deeper the better) or ramekins (not really an ingredient but you'll need them)

Directions
Preheat oven to temperature indicated on can of biscuits.
Add all ingredients except biscuits in a large pot and bring to a simmer.  If it's too thick, add a little water at a time until it has reached the desire consistency.  Stir every couple of minutes to avoid sticking.  When the mixture is thoroughly mixed and hot, remove from heat.  By now, the oven should be fully heated.  Spray pie pans or ramekins with nonstick spray.  Fill with mixture.  Flatten biscuits and place one on top of each pie pan.  Bake until biscuits are golden brown.  Usually the time on the biscuit can will suffice.  That's it!  You will never eat frozen pot pies again!

Taco Soup

Taco Soup

Ingredients:

1 lb. ground beef
1 lg. onion
1 poblano pepper
1 tbsp. minced garlic
1 bunch cilantro
1 pkg. taco seasoning
1 pkg. dry ranch
1 can/bottle beer (I recommend going with a strong flavored beer or it will get lost in it)
1 can stewed tomatoes (Mexican if you can find it)
1 can Rotel
1 can ranch beans
1 can chili beans
1 can black beans
1 can corn

Garnishes:
Shredded Mexican style cheese
Corn chips
Sour cream

Chop up all your veggies. Throw them in a soup pot with the meat.  Stir until the meat is browned.  Once the meat is browned, throw in the rest of the ingredients.  Add enough water to cover ingredients.  Bring the soup to a boil.  Simmer uncovered for about 45 minutes, stirring occasionally.  Done.  Garnish and eat!

Herb and Peppercorn Grilled Pork Loin with White Wine Garlic Sauce & Pasta

Recipe:  Herb and Peppercorn Grilled Pork Loin
    With White Wine Garlic Sauce & Pasta

Ingredients

Loin
1 3lb. pork loin, cut in half lengthways
Olive oil
Fresh coarsely ground black peppercorns
Italian seasoning

Sauce
1 bottle of white wine (Whatever kind you like to drink.  If you don’t like the     wine, you won’t like the sauce.)
2 tbsp. minced garlic
2 tbsp. butter or margarine
1 tsp. Italian seasoning
1 lg. chicken bouillon cube
1 med. onion sliced (do not dice!)
1/2 red bell pepper sliced
1/2 yellow bell pepper sliced
1/2 green bell pepper sliced
1-2 tbsp. cornstarch if you prefer a thicker sauce

Pasta
1 lb. of your choice of pasta (I find angel hair works really well with this dish)
1 med. pot water
1 lg. chicken bouillon cube

Garnish
Parmesan cheese

Directions

Loin
Make sure loin is not already cut before doing so.  Some come that way.  Slather liberally with olive oil.  Apply enough black pepper to cover loin pieces but not so much that you dry it out.  It should be wet enough to hold a generous portion of Italian seasoning.  If you put too much, don’t worry, just add more oil.  Cover generously with Italian seasoning.  If you have time, let it sit overnight in the fridge.  If not, no big deal.  Grill (propane or charcoal) over medium heat for 7 to 10 min. on each side.  Slice to your desired serving size.

Sauce
Combine everything except half the onion and all of the bell peppers.  Simmer and stir, tasting every few minutes.  Adjust salt and Italian seasoning as you see fit.  When you are satisfied with your combination, throw in the rest of your vegetables.  These should cook no more than 5 minutes.  Another option for the vegetables is grilling them for a few minutes.  Either way, you want them to still be firm.

Pasta
Put bouillon cube in water and bring to rolling boil.  Add pasta.  Check for doneness continually.  If you use angel hair, this will only take a few minutes.

Suggested serving method
Serve pasta first.  Place loin slices over pasta.  Then sprinkle parmesan cheese over both.  Serve sauce over pasta and loin.

Done!

Cheddar Cheesy Bacon Grits

Cheddar Cheesy Bacon Grits

This is my Sunday morning treat.  My wife hates grits.  More for me!

Ingredients

2 thick slices of bacon finely chopped
1/2 med. onion diced
1/2 bell pepper diced
1 tbsp. minced garlic
1 small chicken bouillon cube
1/2 cup grits (the real stuff, not instant)
2 cups water (the formula is 1 part grits to 4 parts water if you want to play with it)
1 tsp. black pepper
1  large handful of finely grated sharp cheddar cheese
1/4 cup parmesan cheese
1/4 cup milk

In a small pot, cook bacon until you have a thick layer of bacon grease in the bottom of the pot.  Add onions, bell pepper and garlic. Stir occasionally until onions and bell pepper are wilted.  Then add grits, water, bouillon  and black pepper.  Stir constantly to avoid sticking.  When mixture has thickened, add milk and cheeses.  Continue stirring until cheese is melted and mixture is creamy.
Serve and enjoy!

Product Review: Southern Comfort Bold Black Cherry

Product Review:  Southern Comfort Bold Black Cherry

Welcome to my very first product review!  I feel it's only right to tell you that the majority of my reviews will be positive because, in the words of Beavis and Butthead:  I don't like stuff that sucks.  So I try to avoid wasting money on it.  On the other hand, I DO like trying new things so maybe I can help you avoid wasting money on stuff that sucks.
Enough intro.  On to the product at hand!  Today I tried Southern Comfort Bold Black Cherry.  I should note here that I LOVE whiskey.  I really, really LIKE beer.  Pinot Grigio and I are like BFF's.  But whiskey is my alcoholic SOUL MATE.  That being said, I'm not extremely familiar with Southern Comfort.  Crown Royal is my usual go to with Jim Beam as a close second.
When I opened the bottle and smelled the contents I knew I was in for a treat!  When I bought it, I was half afraid the cherry would overpower the whiskey.  The last thing I wanted was cherry coolaid with a hint of whiskey!  I needn't have worried.  The aroma was definitely that of whiskey.
Now I know the best way drink whiskey is neat, and usually I'm all for it, but at the time of this writing it's June and I'm in southern Louisiana.  If that means nothing to you, let me clear it up:  Hell's cooler this time of year.  I needed something ice cold, so I served it on the rocks.
The first sip was bliss.  I felt that whiskey warmth in my mouth despite the ice.  Then the flavor set in.  Whiskey sweetness with just enough of a hint of cherry for it to live up to it's name.  Yep.  Definitely going to be having a couple more of these before bedtime!
My one criticism of this product is that it's just a little bit too sweet.  Not much, mind you.  Just a tad.  But then, it IS cherry flavored whiskey, so maybe I'm asking too much.

Southern Comfort Bold Black Cherry
Rating:  4.5 Coffee Beans

Author's Note:  The rating system is based on coffee beans because I wanted it based on something I really loved.  I narrowed it down to coffee beans or bacon strips.  Coffee beans won out because I've never wanted to kill anyone after missing my morning bacon.